


Partner

by oceansgrey



Category: Naruto
Genre: Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, Team Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-03-17 16:18:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18968806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceansgrey/pseuds/oceansgrey
Summary: The partners of the Akatsuki and the things they do for one another.





	1. Deidara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read Akatsuki Hiden and now I want more Akatsuki content of the partners.

For a brat, Sasori supposed Deidara was an alright partner. He kept relatively out of trouble, not as much trouble as Hidan seemed to get into and didn’t spend a fortune visiting teashops like Itachi did. While his view of art was atrocious and inaccurate, Deidara made good company.

“I feel like we’ve been walking forever, hm,” Deidara complained as he stretched his arms up, letting out a yawn. “Why can’t we just fly back to the base? It’s so much faster,”

“Quit your complaining,” Sasori, voice gruff from inside the shell of Hiruko, said. “We’re making a separate stop before we go back,”

Deidara whined a bit more, grumbling under his breath. Sasori could barely pick up the phrase, “need a shower, my hair’s knotted to hell,” and, “stupid Danna.”

“We need to stop at the Ceramic village,” Sasori said, noting the instant perk in his partner’s attitude. “You were running low on supplies, right?”

“I can make my own clay if I need to,” Deidara said, cocking his head to the side.

“I mean your personal supply,” Sasori reiterated.

“Oh,”

Sasori noticed that when he wasn’t blowing up buildings or causing a ruckus, Deidara actually had a habit of sculpting. His room was littered with unfinished projects ranging from miniature sculptures of his bombs that were non-explosive and regular pottery. He had finished a whole set of tea cups for the Akatsuki, matching the cup to the nail polish shades the individual members wore.

Sasori hated sharing a room with him since there was always clay spattered somewhere and the room smelled of fumes from the glazes, but he was not much better with his puppets laying about in various stages of completion.

“I am running a bit low on glaze,” Deidara shook his head. “Won’t Kakuzu have a heart attack or something if we spend any more money? He gave us that whole lecture the other day at the base, hm,”

“Like I care what he has to say,”

“If you have a death wish, I suppose,” Deidara shrugged.

“Shut it, brat, and follow me,”

 

Deidara surprisingly behaved himself as he went from stall to store, Sasori opting to be out of Hiruko for the experience.

“This clay fires at a higher temperature than most of my clay, but it conducts chakra better,” Deidara mused aloud, rubbing a ball of clay beneath his fingers. The subtle smile on his face seemed to hint that it was good quality. “Doesn’t Konan use chakra to keep her coffee warm?”

“Yeah,”

“She might appreciate a new mug, since Hidan shattered the last one. Then again, all things are but a fleeting moment, so I suppose the mug had it coming,” Deidara smirked, weighing out around twenty pounds of the fine clay. “Do you want anything, my man?”

Sasori shook his head, watching Deidara take his clay from the clerk as they paid.

“Get whatever you want,”

 

“I had a fun day with you, Sasori no Danna,” Deidara said, swinging the bag that held his glazes as they headed away from the Ceramic village and back towards the Land of Rivers.

“You did a good job eliminating that merchant’s home,” Sasori replied. “Nothing more,”

“Just you wait,” Deidara teased. “You’ll appreciate my art soon enough once I dig my hands in this clay and make a beautiful explosion with it,”

While Sasori believed that true art needed to be eternally preserved, the way how Deidara looked at him with a suspicious glimmer in his eye told him otherwise, just this once.

 

The day ended with the artist duo settling in for the night at an inn. Deidara had enough glaze and clay to last him at least a few more months for his own personal endeavors, and the Akatsuki was now significantly poorer than they had been before.

“Kakuzu is going to have a heart attack once he sees how much we spent,” Deidara noted, letting out a yawn as he made his way towards the baths. “Thank you, Danna, for today,”

“Go bathe, kid. You smell atrocious,” Sasori waved off the compliment, parts of Hiruko spread out on the bed he would occupy. He twirled the screwdriver within his hand to adjust a gear in the puppet’s mouth, allowing for more poisonous mist to emit.

Hours later, after Deidara had relaxed and fallen asleep, did Sasori allow himself to smile, having given his partner a day he could enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to go back and make them separate chapters rather than just pile them all together.  
> Thank you so much for reading!!! Feel free to comment! :)


	2. Sasori

Deidara returned to the base to find Sasori scowling as he furiously sanded down the arm of one of his hundred puppets, glossy eyes set in an intense focus.

“What’s the matter, Sasori no Danna?” he asked, setting down his explosive clay. The mission out with Konan had been a quick one, while Sasori had been gone for a few days with Kakuzu to collect a bounty from another puppet master.

“We got too close to the Hidden Leaf, and a member of the Aburame clan had termites,” Sasori’s scowl seemed to deepen. “A handful of my puppets are damaged,”

“Why try to fix them, hm?” Deidara asked. “I can just blow them up, and then you can make more-”

“No!” Sasori stopped his sanding, gaze darting up to glare at his partner. “These are my masterpieces, and I need to make them better,”

Sasori went back to sanding, ignoring the eyeroll from his younger partner.

Silence filled the space between them as Sasori continued to work on sanding down the damage to his puppets. Deidara was peering over his shoulder the whole time, a distraction.

“You know, Danna,” Deidara interjected after about twenty minutes of silence. “Clay would prevent termites from eating away at your work,”

Sasori hummed a noise, no desire to follow through. Deidara leaned back, grabbing a hunk of clay.

“Can I?” he asked, holding the clay out in one hand, the other extended to the destroyed arm of one of his many puppets. Sasori relented, handing the puppet over. Deidara worked quickly, as Sasori watched in silent awe, morphing the clay around the damaged part of the puppet with mastery. Within minutes, Deidara had formed the clay to act as a thin shield around the wood of the forearm of the puppet.

“We need to fire it to make sure it’s hard enough,” Deidara said, pointing at the wet clay. “My kiln would burn up the wood, so we may have to ask Itachi to fire it for you, but once it’s done, it’ll be hard enough that not even the smallest mite can penetrate it, hm,”

“Interesting,” Sasori noted. “Will it hinder their speed?”

“No, not really. This is thin clay that fires light. It’s used in puppetry a lot,” Deidara continued, smoothing a seam. “It’ll also be a bit like armor for your puppets, even if you put it on a handful of them,”

“Do I need to cover them completely?”

“No, I don’t think so, hm,”

 

A quick favor from Itachi and a day later, Sasori’s puppets had been restored with a slight new improvement.

“Told you my art is good, hm,” Deidara said, that cocky smirk he always wore whenever he was right about something present.

“Quit it, brat,” Sasori said, flicking his wrist and sending his puppet forward, slicing down an enemy shinobi. It still felt light, the movements just as fast.

Maybe Deidara was worth having around, sometimes.

“Deidara?” Sasori called out before he could catch himself, watching the younger whip his head around, a mess of blond.

“What is it, my man?”

Sasori was glad that his smile was easily hidden by the high collar of the Akatsuki robes they wore.

“It’s nothing,”

Deidara pouted, the look making him appear younger than his eighteen years. Sasori forgot of the fleeting moment of youth, the way it clung to his partner in the slight amount of baby fat that still clung to those cheeks, so pinchable, or the pouting and stamping of feet like a child.

“Then if it’s nothing, don’t bring it up, hm!” Deidara huffed, forming the hand seal to make his clay bird expand. “Climb on, Sasori no Danna,”

The mission complete, Sasori had no room to complain, not even when Deidara fell asleep slumped against him, the younger having exhausted all his energy in the large explosion that had decimated most of the smaller village they had been paid to destroy.

Deidara asleep, leaning against his shoulder and drooling slightly onto his robe, Sasori couldn’t help but admit deep within himself that he genuinely cared for him.

He didn't want him to die, even though Deidara was the type to die an early death. Sasori rolled his eyes as Deidara began to snore softly.

Maybe the brat would prove him wrong... Some day. 

But not today, Sasori thought. Art was eternal until Deidara could prove him otherwise, but the brat might be able to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! :)


	3. Itachi

His chest hurt, his eyes hurt.

Everything just hurt.

He was just so tired.

Itachi felt his body slowing down as he tried to keep up to Kisame, the taller taking longer strides as usual. Itachi wasn’t small, not like how Deidara was, how the explosion artist had to nearly jog after Kisame if they were sent out on missions together, but he suddenly felt that no matter how hard he tried to move his legs, his body just did not want to cooperate.

“Itachi-san?” there was a hint of worry in Kisame’s voice as he stopped, turned, eyebrow raised. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Itachi lied, fighting the feeling of bile rising in his throat. His vision turned spotty, black speckles fleeting across his view. He didn’t register his body giving out, everything becoming black.

 

The first thing Itachi noticed when he woke up was the thick smell of herbs in the air, a familiar fragrance. There was the hissing of a kettle, heavy footsteps trekked to and from.

Kisame must be making something, he realized.

“Took you long enough to wake up,” was all Kisame said before he helped Itachi up in a sitting position, handing him a hot cup of tea.

“How long have I been out?”

“A day,”

Itachi scowled, glaring down at the cup of tea, as if it were at fault.

“I don’t know how you’re planning on fighting your brother if you pass out from walking for less than a day,” Kisame chided. “But you need to tell me when you need to rest,”

“I’m sorry,” Itachi mumbled, glancing around the room. Kisame must have taken him to an inn somewhere, the room bare except the essential dresser and bed, a small hot pot on the top, a kettle resting next to it.

“We can take a few days for you to recover,” Kisame reasoned. “We aren’t supposed to meet up with the zombie combo for another two, and if we make them wait another day it won’t kill them,”

Itachi resisted the urge to let out a laugh, instead taking a sip of the tea Kisame made him. It was the mixture he had picked up from a doctor in the Land of Tea, boasting about the healing qualities of the herbs.

As he drained the cup, he hoped it worked.

 

Itachi still felt terrible by the time they left the inn, but he felt more relaxed after Kisame had all but dragged him to the baths to let him soothe his achy muscles. His body didn’t hurt as much as before, but the stinging in his chest still resided. He tried hiding the blood he had coughed up that morning, lungs and throat feeling as if he had swallowed razor blades, ignoring Kisame’s doting tone in order to get ready to leave. He hated laying about doing nothing.

They were meeting Hidan and Kakuzu near a local temple, the priest a target for the zombie combo. After that, they were to go meet up with Deidara and Sasori in the next village, and then head back to Rain.

“It should only be about another thirty minutes,” Kisame said, looking back at Itachi. The street of the village they were walking through was mostly empty, a few early morning wanderers coming to and from. Most of the shops were just opening up, ready to start the day.

Itachi slowed down purposefully as they approached the teashop, stopping before the entrance. Kisame walked a few more steps before noticing Itachi not following him, turning around with an unamused look on his face.

“Again? We just went to one the other day,”

Itachi flashed him the tiniest hint of a smile before walking into the shop, Kisame reluctantly following.

 

“Here you go!” the waitress smiled at them both, placing down their orders alongside their cups of tea. “Enjoy!”

Itachi looked down at the cake he had ordered, the specialty from the shop, and examined it quickly.

“Why don’t you check how freshly baked it is with that Sharingan of yours?” Kisame joked, taking a sip of his tea.

“I don’t think that would work,” Itachi grabbed his fork, taking the first bite. “It’s good,”

“Well, give me a review,”

Itachi chewed, savoring the sweetness of the cherry flavored cake. Upon initial taste, it had been good, but the more he chewed, the grosser it seemed to become. It was sickly sweet, sweeter than most desserts he enjoyed. Too sweet for him, the one with the sweet tooth. 

“It’s very sweet,” Itachi made a face, pushing his plate closer to Kisame. “Try it,”

Kisame grabbed his fork, taking a decent sized piece. The face he made once the sweetness hit his tongue had Itachi laughing, a quiet laugh he hid behind his hand. Kisame looked disgusted, eyeing the cake and then his fork, shaking his head.

“That’s enough to rot your teeth in one sitting,” Kisame said. “I’ll pass on it,”

“At least the tea is good,” Itachi said.

“You’re right on that,”

 

“Oi, it’s about time you fuckheads showed up!” Hidan shouted, pointing his pike at the duo as they approached. Deidara was pouting, arms folded across his chest, looking upset. Sasori was hidden within Hiruko, expression unreadable. Kakuzu looked like he was ready to murder the two as they strolled over, finally catching up a day late.

“Where the hell were you two?” Kakuzu grumbled.

“Oh, we happened to run into some bandits, and we got caught up in the fight,” Kisame waved them off. “Sorry about that,”

“I bet you two ditched us to go to some teashop, hm,” Deidara pressed.

“We would do nothing of the sort,” Itachi lied, sharing a knowing glance with his partner.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My favorite little tidbit of information about Itachi is that he loves to visit teashops, and I like to think that he drags his partner to them as much as possible to try all the sweets.  
> Thank you so much for reading!


	4. Kisame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itachi and Kisame go to Kisame's childhood home.

“Take me to your home,” was all Itachi had said, words smooth and cryptic.

It had taken them two days to make their way to the coast, then rent a boat and sail out towards the islands littering the Land of Water, hidden behind thick mist, a perfect place for two wanted criminals to hide.

The island was pretty much the same as Kisame remembered from his childhood, the small family home left abandoned, cobwebs and little crabs making their home scuttling about the shore. It hadn’t been home since he was about six or seven when the purges had begun and he was forced to live in the village under Fuguki’s tutelage.

“It’s cold,” Itachi noted, and Kisame could see the faint shiver in his impeccable posture.

“It gets chilly when it gets closer to nighttime,” Kisame said, eyes darting back to the house, then to the beach. “I’ll get a fire started,”

 

Fish caught fresh from the ocean and cooked by the fireside was the perfect meal to end the quiet day of comfortable silence, Itachi nibbling on his fish while Kisame lounged about, having already finished his meal. The sun was beginning to set across the horizon, vast expanses of ocean blurring any form of land.

The mist had cleared, the dusk calm. Kisame found himself smiling as he laid back, Samehada in the sand beside him, chittering happily.

“This is wonderful,” Itachi admitted, onyx eyes transfixed on the setting sun. “Thank you for showing me this, Kisame,”

“Of course, Itachi-san,”

Itachi took in a deep breath, the salty ocean air clean and while it may have stung his aching lungs it was the first time in a while that he could admit he could breathe easily.

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” Itachi said softly, a sudden sadness washing over him like a wave. “Fire country has nothing that could compare,”

They sat in silence as the sun disappeared, a blanket of starry night sky falling over them.

“Would you like to go inside?” Kisame offered, standing up and brushing the sand from his legs. Itachi wordlessly nodded, following suit as he followed Kisame back to the small home.

It was just as it had been left, a thin veil of dust littering the furniture. Kisame could blindly go into this house and still make his way back to his childhood bedroom, the small bed tucked safely in the corner. His mother used to run her fingers through his hair as she soothed any worries about monsters hiding under his bed, a childish fear.

Now he was the monster of the Mist that parents warned their children about.

Itachi somehow found a lantern on his own, lighting it with a quick fire technique as he wandered around, exploring the small home. Kisame watched him linger in the kitchen, eyeing the exit to the back of the house.

“Hunter nin don’t check the islands,” Kisame said, quelling Itachi’s worries. “We’re safe,”

Safe.

“I’m a little tired,” Kisame admitted, setting Samehada down onto the couch gently. “I’m going to head off to bed. You’re more than welcome to join, or you can stay up,”

“I’ll be over in a bit,” Itachi promised, eyes flitting to the few framed photos scattered across the home. Kisame’s heavy footsteps treaded towards the stairs, creaking under his weight. From what Itachi could hear, the bedroom was up the stairs, down a hall and towards the right.

The closer he got, the better he could recognize the few pictures as photos of Kisame and his family. His partner, though a child in the encaptured moments, was still much the same. Itachi reached out and grabbed a frame, recognizing a young Kisame, possibly four, in the arms of a woman who looked an awful lot like him.

A dull ache bloomed in his chest.

The Uchiha family photos had been left behind, probably given to Sasuke unless his foolish brother burned them.

His own parents faces’ were becoming blurry in his memories.

Itachi set the picture back down, taking the lantern as he treaded upstairs.

 

Kisame woke to the sound of something clattering onto the floor downstairs. With precision of years of training to master the Silent Killing, he crept downstairs to scope out the source of the noise.

“Damn,” a soft hiss came, and once Kisame poked his head from around the wall, he saw Itachi kneeling down to pick up a pan. “Good morning,”

“What are you doing?” Kisame asked.

“Making breakfast,” Itachi replied as if it were clear as day. The kettle on the stove hissed, Itachi using his free hand to turn off the burner and pour two cups of tea as he placed the pan onto the stove and prepared to cook eggs. “Are you hungry?”

Kisame couldn’t deny breakfast, especially if it was cooked by Itachi.

He would eat the plate of eggs Itachi handed him, pretending he didn’t notice the bits of shell in it or that some of it was a bit burned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got back to writing this! I originally wrote a different chapter for Kisame, but then I decided that chapter was a bit too shippy in a sense and I went back and wrote this.  
> Thank you so much for reading!!! :) :) :)


	5. Kakuzu and Hidan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After sealing biju parties are wild when Hidan is involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun tidbit my sister (a huge zombie combo fan) noticed that no one ever brings up: Hidan and Kakuzu mention in one of their episodes that they have after sealing biju parties and they are _super_ expensive.  
> I combined Zombie Combo's chapter together because it just worked better.

To celebrate sealing the first biju successfully, Pein had opted for some sort of get together.

“This is stupid, and expensive,” Kakuzu grumbled, Hidan following after him as he grabbed various bottles of alcohol from the shelves of the loaded merchant they just murdered for his bounty.

“Not like you’re paying for any of this,” Hidan quipped back. They were just stealing the alcohol, after all.

“I know you young idiots are going to get into some sort of trouble, and that will be expensive to fix,” Kakuzu paused, his hand hovering over a sleek bottle of whiskey, one brewed only in Waterfall. Hidan watched him grab the bottle, slipping it within one of the many pockets within his cloak.

“I’m tired, and fucking hungry,” Hidan stretched, reveling in the way his bones popped and cracked. Their last mission took three whole days to track down their bounty and they had been sleeping in the woods in order to lay low. “Can we stop and get something to eat?”

“It’s three hours back to Rain,” Kakuzu glared at him. “We have food there,”

“But Kuzu-”

“Shut up, and take the pack,”

Hidan grumbled, kicking at the dirt as he took the pack full of stolen goods and hauled it onto his back.

“Don’t see why I have to carry your shit,”

“Because I said so,” Kakuzu said, eyes scanning the room to make sure they hadn’t missed anything. “Come on, let’s get going back,”

“Yeah, yeah,” Hidan waved him off.

 

“You’re late,”

The chill in their leader’s voice rang through the empty room in the tallest tower of Amegakure.

“Hidan sacrificed someone on our way back and the ritual took too damn long,” Kakuzu grumbled, setting the bottles of stolen alcohol onto the meeting table.

“About time,” Deidara whined. “Leader said we can’t eat until you guys showed up,”

“Where’s the dynamic duo?” Hidan asked, looking to Konan for the answer.

“They’re getting food,” she deadpanned, orange eyes piercing. Hidan felt a shiver from her icy glare.

As if on cue, the sound of footsteps resounded throughout the hall behind the zombie combo.

“We’ve returned,” Itachi said, peering over the large pot in his arms.

“We got everything you asked for,” Kisame chimed in, lifting the bags of groceries in his arms slightly to indicate to Konan, who had a small pleased smile.

“Alright,” Pein said, turning to look at Hidan and Deidara. “Help Itachi prep the food. Kakuzu, you’re helping Kisame cook,”

“Why do I have to help the idiot,” Kakuzu grumbled.

“What?” Hidan said. “I don’t wanna work with those two fuckasses,”

“Hidan, ‘fuckass’ is not a word,” Pein stated. “Watch your mouth,”

“It is in the dictionary of Jashin, my dictionary,”

“You mean your vocabulary,” Itachi chimed in.

“Fuck off, you red-eyed dick weasel,”

“Hidan,”

Konan’s voice seemed to drip with venom as she narrowed her eyes at the Jashinist, a silent threat.

“Fine,” Hidan groaned as he waved over the two youngest members. “C’mere, idiots. Let the pro show you how to chop,”

 

“You’re slicing the beef wrong,” Kakuzu grumbled over Kisame’s shoulder. “You need to score it, not butcher it,”

“I am scoring it,” Kisame quipped. “If you want it to be tender, you have to-”

“You’re seasoning wrong!”

“Huh?” Kisame looked up from the cut of beef in front of him, hand hovering over the salt. “No, you always do salt and pepper,”

“Don’t fuck up the expensive steak we bought,” Kakuzu argued. “Konan said barbeque, and I’m not risking you making her mad because you can’t season food properly,”

Kisame blinked twice at Kakuzu before he grabbed the salt and pepper, seasoning the steak his way.

“I will strike you,” Kakuzu threatened.

“I’d like to see you try, old man,” Kisame said, turning on a burner.

“Get out of the way, brat,” Kakuzu shouldered him out of the way, reaching into the spice cabinet. “Go work on your seafood,”

“I’m not a kid,”

“You are in my eyes,” Kakuzu rolled his eyes. “In all my ninety-one years on this god-forsaken planet, you’re the stupidest chef I’ve seen. And I’ve seen Hidan try to cook,”

“That’s pretty harsh,”

Kakuzu was thankful that the swordsman stalked off over to where the seafood was and silently began to cook the crab and shrimp before he returned to cooking the steak the right way.

 

Hidan picked up a piece of onion.

“Really, dickweed?” he said, waving the piece in front of Deidara. “It’s uneven!”

“It has character, hm!” Deidara slammed his knife down. “Sorry not all of us can use a cheat to cut perfectly even pieces, _Itachi_ ,”

Itachi looked up from the scallions he was chopping, confusion written on his face as he deactivated the Sharingan.

“You’re lucky we work together or else I’d have made both of you shit magnets sacrifices to Jashin,” Hidan mumbled under his breath, taking the knife and onion from Deidara and thinly slicing it. “There, idiot,”

“I’m going to see Sasori,” Deidara huffed, walking away.

Hidan sighed, focusing on cutting up the rest of the vegetables. He hated them so much, and it felt gross just slicing into the leeks, but he reluctantly did it for this stupid get together their leader insisted on having.

“Hidan,”

“What?” Hidan snapped, looking up at Itachi, who held up a bloody index finger.

“I sliced my finger,”

“Goddamnit,”

 

Konan and Sasori worked in silence together, wordlessly working through the recipe in front of them.

“Danna!”

Sasori halted in his movements, the egg he was about to crack hovering over the edge of the mixing bowl, Konan dumping flour in.

“What is it now?” Sasori asked.

“Hidan’s being a jerk and kicked me out, and I’m pretty sure Itachi almost chopped his finger off,”

Konan let out a deep sigh through her nose, closing her eyes to regain her composure.

“Can you sit and just…” she paused, contemplating her next words. “Be quiet?”

“Hm,” Deidara hoisted himself up onto the counter, peering at the recipe for the cake they were making.

Konan and Sasori resumed their task, and Deidara was surprisingly silent throughout the whole ordeal.

 

After dressing Itachi’s minor wound and once everything was out of the oven and ready, the members of the Akatsuki sat at their meeting table with the spread they had made.

“I’d like to thank all of you for your hard work as of late,” Pein said, pouring wine into Konan’s glass. “You all are completing your missions as asked and I’m pleased,”

“Now that we’re beginning the biju hunt, we wanted to hold a little celebration,” Konan said. She raised her glass and gave a small smile to all her teammates.

“Let’s eat, then,”

Between the eight of them, they had somehow managed a good meal. Kakuzu didn’t even complain about anything as he ate.

Hidan pushed all of his vegetables to the side and tackled the meat and seafood, eating happily to replenish his body after the sacrifices he had made to Jashin that day.

 

It was after they had cake that Hidan remembered all the alcohol they had brought. Wine with dinner was nice, but he hadn’t been drunk in ages, since way before he became immortal.

“I’m going to retire for the night,” Pein said, standing. “Remember, tomorrow we begin the search for the nibi jinchuriki, Yugito. Please be up early,”

After a chorus of goodnights and once Pein was out of sight, Hidan made his move.

Kakuzu and Sasori were seated beside one another and talking about boring old man things, he assumed, Hidan grabbing a few bottles of sake as he wandered over to Itachi.

“After sealing biju, you deserve something,” Hidan had bargained, sliding Itachi his first bottle of sake. “Relax. Live a little,”

Itachi raised an eyebrow in inquiry, raising the glass to his mouth and tasting the sweet liquid.

“I want some!” Deidara said, leaning over Itachi and reaching for the bottle.

“You’re too young,” Konan snapped from the other side of the table, three drinks of whiskey in with Kisame.

“Yeah, sorry kid,” Kisame said, raising his own glass. “Only grown ups can drink,”

“You all are terrible, hm!” Deidara slumped back into his seat, pouting.

Hidan, an enabler and lover of chaos, knocked back his shot before handing one to Deidara under the table.

 

As the night progressed, Hidan noticed he wasn’t getting as drunk as he used to. Before becoming immortal, he could drink about a bottle of sake and be hammered enough to forget the previous night.

“Whoa,” Kisame stopped him, a hand on his arm. “That’s the third bottle of whiskey you’ve drank tonight. How are you not dead- oh,”

“I’m immortal, fuckhead,” Hidan raised the bottle up to his mouth, letting the bitter liquid slide down his throat. “What the fuck, why is this not working?”

“He’s your problem now,” Kakuzu stood, his two glasses emptied. “I’m going to bed,”

“Go to bed, old man!” Deidara teased, only three drinks in but drunk enough.

Sasori and Kakuzu grumbled something about youth before the two wandered off towards their respective rooms. Kisame was intrigued in whatever Konan was talking about, a deep flush on her face and multiple emptied bottles beside her. Kisame seemed the soberest of them all now that Kakuzu and Sasori were gone, but still drunk enough to not walk straight, his movements a bit staggered, but he had kept up with Konan throughout all their rounds of drinks.

Hidan glanced over to Deidara, who downed his fourth drink. He let out a tired sigh as he leaned onto Itachi, who was face down at the table, two emptied sake bottles around him as he sobbed about being a failure of a brother. Deidara closed his eyes, hair falling over his face as he pressed his cheek into Itachi’s boney shoulder, falling asleep.

However, Deidara’s sudden closeness brought a whole new round of disgusting sobs from Itachi, who whined something intelligible, something along the lines of missing human contact and his little brother.

Kisame sighed, getting up from the table and going to Itachi. He somehow managed to hoist his partner up, letting him lean onto him. Itachi pressed a tear-stained face into the shoulder of Kisame’s cloak, his sobs calming to the point where he could actually breathe as Kisame began to steer him off into the direction of their room.

“He gets like this when he drinks sometimes,” Kisame apologized. “Goodnight,”

Hidan finished the bottle in his hand, and then everything went black.

 

Kakuzu woke up to a pounding on his door, groaning as he came to. He only had two drinks the night before, but his body ached. The early morning light was beginning to shine into his room, the clock on his bedside table reading five in the morning.

“Kakuzu,”

Pein’s voice rang through the door, the older man groaning as he hoisted himself out of bed to answer the knocking on his door.

“Morning,” Kakuzu said.

“You need to go retrieve Hidan,” Pein said. “He’s in the middle of town,”

“What did that idiot do this time?” Kakuzu grumbled.

“You might want to see that for yourself,”

Kakuzu scowled as he began walking his way through the base, unhappy to be woken up so early.

There were multiple pieces of furniture broken, what appeared to be the Jashin symbol painted in blood on the walls, and what appeared to be a large stain on the wall beside one of the symbols. It was almost as if someone had taken a bottle full of expensive scotch and smashed it onto the wall as hard as they could. Their potted plant had been upturned, dirt strewn down the hall, the poor little tree mangled and slashed to bits. The meeting room table was smashed in half, as if someone had jumped onto it.

“Where is he?” Kakuzu seethed, turning to Pein.

“The village square,”

 

Hidan noticed two things upon waking up.

One, it was raining, and he was absolutely soaked.

Two, Hidan’s head hurt like a bitch.

“What the fuck?” he mumbled, rubbing his head. “Where the fuck…?”

He was laying on a statue, his back aching.

“What the fuck?” he reiterated, forcing himself up.

Memories from last night were a wild blur, vaguely remembering stumbling into Deidara’s room to call him a bitch before making his way down the hall towards the front door to the tower. He somewhat remembered wandering through the street, something bloody, and then his memory just blanked from that point.

“Hidan!”

Hidan jolted, Kakuzu’s angry tone scaring him. His heart pounded against his ribcage as if it wanted to jump out. Kakuzu only used that tone when he was absolutely pissed.

“Mornin’, Kuzu,” Hidan waved.

“What the hell are you doing on the Salamander?”

“The what?”

“The statue of Hanzo’s Salamander!” Kakuzu shouted. “What did you _do_ to it?”

Hidan scratched his head, confused. He slid off the statue, stumbling on his fall. Kakuzu caught him, murderous intent in his eyes. Hopefully Kakuzu would strangle him, that would be fine. Hidan enjoyed it whenever Kakuzu did so, loving the view of his thick muscled arms and the sadistic smirk that would graze the geezer’s face-

“You dented the statue,” Kakuzu grimaced. “And you sacrificed three villagers. Konan is going to murder you, if you’re still alive after I’m done with you,”

“Is that a date?” Hidan winked.

Kakuzu dropped Hidan, letting the Jashinist wallow in the nausea that the sudden movement gave him.

“Throw up on my feet and I’ll cut your head off and punt you back to the Steam,” Kakuzu grumbled. He kicked Hidan’s side. “Get up and get ready to clean up your mess,”

“Alright, alright,” Hidan groaned, hoisting himself back up. “Damn, how much did I drink last night?”

“About ten bottles of _my_ whiskey, and three bottles of sake. How are you not dead?”

“Pretty sure I did die, but Jashin loves me too fucking much that he patched me up,” Hidan said, wincing at the sudden pain in his side. “Think my liver fuckin’ gave out, that’s why I knocked the fuck out on the ugly statue,”

Kakuzu sighed, wrapping an arm around Hidan’s side to let him lean against him.

“Let’s just get going, idiot. You owe Pein and Konan,”

“Yeah, yeah, money-loving blasphemer,” Hidan lightly bumped his hip against Kakuzu’s. “Admit it, you care about me,”

“I never said that,”

“You came and got me, and you didn’t choke me out this time,” Hidan teased. “You like me, don’t you Kuzu?”

Kakuzu let out a grunt, beginning the walk back to the tower.

“You handsome bastard, I care about you,” Hidan said, resting his head against Kakuzu’s shoulder.

“I guess I care about you, too,”

“Hey!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This has been sitting in my drafts for a while and I just now got around to editing it.


	6. Konan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Konan isn't a fan of her birthday. The boys try to do something for her.

It was always cold in Amegakure without Yahiko.

Seeing him walk about, a mere puppet for Nagato, whose body was so drained he could barely walk nowadays, masquerading as a god, ached. It was no longer warm, no longer happy.

Konan forced the pain to stop, watching as Pein droned on about mission assignments to the assembled Akatsuki. She slumped further in her chair, relaxing into the soft cushions as her cup of tea rested in numbed hands, stinging at the cold skin.

“Why do we have to do the boring cash missions?” Hidan whined. “I want to go destroy the village and send those souls to Jashin!”

“You idiot, we need money to operate this organization!” Kakuzu shouted, the raise in his voice grating on Konan’s ears.

“Why does Itachi get the cool mission, hm?” Deidara mumbled, kicking at the floor with his foot. “I wanna go blow up the castle instead of looking for a dumb thief,”

“Shut up,” Sasori hissed.

“Are we all clear on assignments?” Pein asked, watching with a blank stare.

“Of course,” Kakuzu said, nodding. Konan watched as Itachi and Kisame stood still and silent, already having acknowledged their task. Hidan looked bored, fidgeting with his pendant. Deidara was arguing with Sasori about something, she really didn’t care, having droned out most of their voices.

There were some days where she felt unstoppable, the angel the civilians of Amegakure had worshipped and loved. Some days, days like today, felt like she had done everything wrong in her life and that there was no point.

Keeping Yahiko’s will alive was her only drive, working with Nagato to complete it.

Konan closed her eyes and breathed deeply through her nose, counting slowly before exhaling slowly.

She needed a nap, maybe that would help quell the tiredness in her bones and the ache in her chest.

 

“Something’s wrong with Konan,” Itachi said, following Deidara as they all walked into the common area of the tower.

“No, she always looks like that,” Deidara said, rolling his eyes.

“Scary as fuck?” Hidan supplied.

“No, Itachi’s right,” Sasori agreed, walking over to the stove to set a kettle on for tea.

“She’s depressed, you idiots,” Kakuzu chimed in. “She probably wants us to leave her alone,”

“Or she could just be her usual bitchy self,” Deidara huffed, reaching into the cabinet for his set of teacups he made.

“That’s not nice,” Kisame said.

“It’s true, hm,”

Itachi paused his movements, hand hovering over the container of tea.

“It’s February,” he said. “It’s the twentieth,”

“And, smartass?” Hidan asked. “What’s so special about the twentieth?”

“It’s her birthday, idiot,” Sasori rolled his eyes.

The collective sound of recognition from the members resounded throughout the kitchen, the kettle hissing.

 

“Happy birthday, Konan,” Nagato said, giving her a small smile.

Konan sighed, shutting the door to their room shut. She shuffled across the room, nearly collapsing onto the bed by his side. Pressing her face into the pillow, she let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding, forcing herself to relax as Nagato began to rub her shoulders gently.

“I don’t care,” she said, moving her face to the side. “It’s Yahiko’s birthday,”

“Yeah,” Nagato looked away, face fallen.

Silence filled the room, the Deva path walking over to the bed and pulling Konan up to hold her.

The tears came quickly despite how hard she tried to hold them back, Yahiko’s ice cold arms around her tight and Nagato’s weaker, warmer embrace at her back. She felt him quietly sob, his face pressed in between her shoulder blades as she sobbed, pressing her tearstained face into the fabric of the Deva path’s cloak.

Nagato held her as tight as he could until she cried herself to sleep, hiccupped breaths as the Deva path laid her back down onto the bed. The Deva path laid down by her right, Nagato on her left.

Nagato pressed a small kiss to her temple before resting his head on her shoulder, closing his tired eyes and falling asleep.

 

Konan walked down the quiet misty streets of Amegakure, smiling at the shopkeepers who greeted her and small children who looked up to her. The room had been empty when she had woken up, a note on the nightstand telling her to go to a small pub located in the lower district overlooking the lake. Crying herself out had somewhat helped the dull ache in her chest, still longing to be celebrating another year on this earth by Yahiko’s side.

She found herself standing in front of the pub, the lights dim inside the restaurant. No one seemed to be inside, and she warily opened the door.

The moment the door shut behind her, the door shutting at her back, the lights flickered on, revealing the members of the Akatsuki.

“Happy birthday, Konan!” Hidan and Deidara shouted.

“Who told you it was my birthday?” Konan asked, looking at Kakuzu, who seemed to be hiding something behind his back. The main shocker was Sasori, who actually had opted to be out of Hiruko for the gathering.

“I did,” Itachi admitted.

“We wanted to do something nice for you,” Sasori said, giving her a small smile.

“For putting up with all of us,” Kisame finished.

Konan wanted to let out a laugh. Dealing with adult men who acted like children was more difficult that wrangling cats to a bath. She was grateful they got together so infrequently due to their constant arguing.

“Happy birthday, Konan,” Pein said, stepping forward and presenting her a box.

She took the box from his hand, noting the familiar scrawl of Nagato’s handwriting. A small smile ghosted her lips as she opened the box, revealing a matching necklace to the Deva path’s.

“Thank you,”

Once they were seated, a hot pot full of sukiyaki in the center of the table, a plate of flame-broiled fish set at the head of the table where she sat.

“Happy birthday,” Kakuzu said, pouring her a large glass of vintage wine. The label on the bottle looked familiar, and Konan recognized it as a rare blend. “This bottle’s my gift to you,”

“That’s very nice, Kakuzu,” she said.

“I stole it from a vintner,”

“I expected as much. Thank you,” Konan raised the glass, draining the glass in one go.

“Damn, look at you chug like a fuckin’ pro!” Hidan said, Deidara stifling his laugh behind his hand next to him.

“Here you go, Konan,” Itachi handed her a neatly wrapped parcel, her name in his elegant script on the top.

Konan used her fingernail to tear into the paper, pulling it away to reveal a leather bound notebook full of thick, untreated pages.

“The paper is good for flower pressing,” he explained, watching as she flipped through the pages, feeling the weight beneath her fingertips.

“Thank you, Itachi,” she said, giving her personal favorite member a soft smile. He was only her favorite since he gave her the least amount of trouble and was always a good companion to teashops. In an organization of killers, he was genuinely a quiet blessing.

“Open mine next!” Deidara said excitedly, a hastily wrapped gift in his hand.

She took it from him, revealing the clay figure underneath the shoddy wrapping paper.

“It’s you!” he said. “I promise it doesn’t explode,”

“Thank you, for that,” she examined the thin clay statue, barely the side of her hand. He crafted the wings of her paper angel jutsu masterfully, even down to the individual paper. It was freshly fired, free of glaze to distract from the intricate detail he had put into it. “It’s beautiful,”

“Of course it is. I made it,” Deidara said cockily.

Hidan stood up, circling around the seats to go to Konan. He had a poorly wrapped bouquet in his hand, the paper crinkled and the bow tying it together uneven.

“Happy birthday, angel,” he said, handing her the flowers. “The cheap bastard wouldn’t let me buy you actual flowers, and money’s fucking garbage anyway, so I picked these pretty fuckers from that last contract’s garden just for you,”

Konan looked down at the flowers, a finger coming to gently stroke the soft pink petal of the calla lily. For Hidan being Hidan, he had a knack for flowers, the bouquet of white lilies and blue hydrangeas making for a pretty arrangement.

“Thank you, Hidan,”

Kisame gave her his gift next, the gift obviously wrapped by his partner. He watched nervously as she opened the package, and it was possibly the first time since knowing him that she had ever seen the swordsman look nervous.

“Origami paper?” she said, looking at the neatly tied stack of origami sheets in a soft blue.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“No, it’s good,” Konan slipped a sheet out, the paper thin as she quickly folded an origami shark. “Thank you, Kisame,”

She handed him the shark and watched the visible anxiety fade from his face. Part of her enjoyed the fact that she had scared him into thinking it was a distasteful gift. Scaring the boys meant keeping them in line.

Sasori was last, handing her a small box. Konan opened it, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“What is it?”

“Poisoned ink,” he said. “I incorporated the poison I use with Hiruko. If you use it on your paper bombs, it creates a poison gas bomb,”

“Ah. Thank you,”

“To Konan,” Pein said, raising his glass.

“To Konan!”

 

Konan felt happily full of wine and good food, leaning a bit onto Kakuzu as they all walked back to the tower in the soft drizzle of Amegakure. The rain always made her feel safe, knowing that Pein was watching over the village.

Deidara and Itachi were arguing about something, the younger shouting over Itachi’s calm words. Kisame was trying to mediate, Hidan chiming in every few minutes to tell the two to quit arguing. Pein walked ahead of them all, a somewhat sober part of Konan praying that she was looking at the back of Yahiko’s head instead, that he would turn around and scoop her up into his arms and kiss her, make her feel loved.

All she felt was hollow, her light no longer with her.

However, she wasn’t alone, a small smile finding its way to her face. The boys remembered her birthday and had tried to cheer her up, and though they could barely work together, it was still a family.

Her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the idea that Konan scares the men of the Akatsuki because she's super strong and pretty, but they all kind of care about one another.  
> Also: the flowers Hidan gives Konan have meanings! The pink calla lily means appreciation and admiration, blue hydrangea means frigidity and apology, white lilies are a symbol of majesty with the Roman myth that white lilies came Juno.  
> Thank you so much for reading!


	7. Pein

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The members of the Akatsuki are summoned by their leader too early in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the product of my sister telling me, "Pein would make everyone have breakfast together just because he wanted them all to eat with him so he wouldn't be lonely"

When Pein summons the Akatsuki, the noise the chakra imbedded into their rings is an irritating high pitched ringing, one that sounds for a few seconds before stopping.

This morning, however, Pein keeps summoning them all in bursts of three minute intervals.

 

“What time is it?” Deidara asked, brushing his mane of hair away from his eyes to glare at his alarm clock.

“Five thirty,” Sasori responded, already awake and ready. “We’re needed in the dining room,”

Deidara groaned, nestling deeper into his bundle of blankets.

“Five more minutes,” he mumbled, closing his eyes. He was not ready to get out of bed. He only went to sleep an hour ago, the inspiration for his new bomb keeping him up working on the now completed clay bird in the corner of their studio bedroom.

“It’s your funeral if you don’t get up,” Sasori said, opening their door. “And I’m not dragging you out of bed,”

 

“Hidan, get up,” Kakuzu said, yanking the blankets off Hidan’s sleeping form.

“Fuck off,” Hidan murmured, half asleep as his hand fought to find the corner of the blanket. He tried dragging it up over his body, Kakuzu’s firm grasp preventing him from obtaining the warmth he desired.

“We’re being summoned, can’t you hear that?” Kakuzu grumbled, wincing once the ringing began again. Pein was incredibly impatient this morning, it seemed. “If you don’t get up, I’ll make sure you can’t do any of your stupid damn rituals ever again,”

“Sticks and stones, old man,” Hidan said. Kakuzu threw a pillow at him, Hidan shifting to sit up and bat off the offending plush. “Alright, alright! I’m fucking up!”

Kakuzu scowled, reaching for his shirt. He had already been awake by four, but he still hadn’t had the chance to get a cup of coffee and Hidan’s voice was grating on his ears.

If they made it down to the dining room without bodily harm, Kakuzu would call it a miracle.

 

Deidara shuffled down the hallway, his blanket wrapped around him as he tried to make his way to the kitchen.

“Stupid leader,” he yawned. “Don’t wanna be up this early…”

“Good morning, Deidara,”

Deidara whipped his head to his right, noticing Itachi coming out of his room. He looked perfectly put together, too well put for this early in the morning.

“Morning,” Deidara mumbled.

“You look tired,”

“Not all of us can look like a goddamn princess in the morning, hm!”

Deidara stomped off into the dining room, plopping down in his usual seat beside Sasori. Sasori was twirling a small screwdriver in one hand, his left hand on the table as he tweaked the gears in his fingers.

Soon, the Akatsuki began filing into the dining room. Kakuzu sat down in his seat angrily, some light spattering of blood on his hands. Hidan came shuffling in after him, a cut on his cheek sluggishly bleeding. Kisame came in yawning loudly, Itachi by his side as the two sat down.

“What’re we doing here so early?” Hidan asked, looking at the sleepy members of the Akatsuki around him. “Some bullshit, getting us all here this fuckin’ early. The motherfucking sun isn’t even up,”

“Good morning, everyone,”

All the members of the Akatsuki looked to the entrance of the dining room, Pein standing in the doorway with Konan at his side. They settled down at their seats as respective heads of the table, Pein waiting until Konan was seated to address the Akatsuki.

“The Akatsuki is now assembled,” he said, looking at the individual members. “Konan,”

Konan looked amongst the fellow members, noting their varying states of awareness.

“Itachi,”

Itachi sat up a bit straighter, but Pein noticed the darkened circles under his eyes, the epitome of exhaustion.

“Kisame,”

The swordsman yawned, resting his hand against his cheek as he waited to Pein to finish roll call.

“Sasori,”

The puppet master tilted his head towards their leader in acknowledgement of his name before resuming what he originally had been doing.

“Deidara,”

Deidara made a small groan from his blanket bundle, looking none too pleased to be awake at this hour of the morning.

“Kakuzu,”

Kakuzu scowled down at his empty mug, as if hoping coffee would magically appear.

“Hidan,”

Hidan let out a grunt of acknowledgement, giving a brief flick of his hand.

“and Zetsu,”

“Here,” Black Zetsu growled.

“Present!” White Zetsu chirped.

“What did you drag us all out of bed for?” Hidan asked. “I’m fuckin’ tired,”

All the members of the Akatsuki looked to their leader, genuinely curious. Whenever their meetings were called, either by projection or together, he never acted as serious as he was now, and the meetings tended to be during the day, not at the crack of dawn.

“It’s a rare occasion that we’re all together,” Pein said, the cold gaze of the Rinnegan scanning over his fellow members. “I summoned you all so we could have breakfast together,”

Hidan grumbled, folding his arms across his chest.

“Didn’t have to make it so damn early,” he complained.

The six paths began to file into the dining room, carrying in their breakfast. Pein waited until everyone grabbed their share before letting himself relax, watching as his team began to eat.

Deidara let out a little cry of joy once he finally got a cup of coffee, Kakuzu sipping his across the table. Hidan began devouring the bacon the moment the platter was set down while Sasori made a face of disgust as he watched the Jashinist eat. Zetsu munched on a plate of greens, the plant man oddly quiet.

Pein almost missed Konan silently pass Itachi the jar of honey for his tea, taking a sip from her own. Kisame was asking Itachi if he wanted to eat more than the small portion on his plate, but his partner gave an answer too quiet for their leader to hear.

If the Deva Path could smile, it would, but Nagato was smiling, happy to be in the presence of the organization he created.

It was quiet in Amegakure, the rain a silent drizzle. Most of the villagers were still sleeping soundly within the safety of their homes.

The Akatsuki sat together, small talk and brief bits of laughter filling the early morning.

It was calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! :) It means a lot to me :) feel free to comment if you want!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please comment/critique! I love hearing your thoughts!!! :)


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